SeniorsBC, a page with links to many resources on advance planning, care for seniors, information on housing and housing assistance, and many other useful topics:
Financial strain on caregivers:
Family Caregivers Network Society in Victoria BC, with links to resources:
Caring for Someone with Dementia, from the Alzheimer Society BC. This provides capsule descriptions of many topics, from Self Care to understanding symptoms, planning and so on.
The Alzheimer Society of BC. You are not alone. Whether you've been diagnosed with dementia, or someone you love has been diagnosed, and whether it's Alzheimer disease or another type of dementia, this is the best place to start. The Alzheimer Society runs support groups and courses for caregivers (I took one that was attended by people whose parents had recently been diagnosed, to a woman who was caregiving for 8 elders, to care aides who wanted more understanding of the people they worked with daily. One principle we learned is that "everything we know about Alzheimer's we've learned in the last 10 years. Whatever horror stories you remember about your great-grandfather wandering down the railroad tracks or people in care homes being sedated comatose, the state of care for dementia sufferers has advanced, our grasp of what it means to have dementia has changed, and the support for caregivers is much, much better than it was. The focus now is on "person centred care," and for you or your loved one, that focus begins with you.
How to prepare for talking to your doctor or your loved one's doctor:
I wrote a two page letter to my mother's doctor, outlining various things my mother had done, said, not done that would be normal to do. While modern privacy laws prevent someone's doctor from talking to you about their medical conditions, nothing prevents you from providing information to their doctor. Keep in mind that a person with dementia loses judgement, and they lose their ability to monitor their own behaviour. They may not know how much their abilities have declined. They may not want anyone to know, because they think it's temporary or they're ashamed that they can no longer do things they used to do. They may tell their doctor everything is fine, or that their children/friends/spouse are concerned, but it's really nothing. Fear is entirely normal, for a person who suspects they have dementia, and for their families and friends. And a doctor sees each patient for only a few minutes and goes on what patients say. Unless their attention is brought to a certain symptom or problem, they have no way of knowing it's going on.
Document specific behaviours, including times of day, what she said or did, what else may have been going on (did she just wake up, when had she eaten last, who else was present, unusual circumstances or stresses, distractions). Don't try to interpret or edit, just document, then compare your list with a checklist for dementia.
At the same time, don't assume that all memory loss or confusion is dementia, or that all dementia is incurable. There are 80 known types of dementia, 50 are reversible. Many other illnesses and conditions cause confusion, disorientation, memory loss, even psychosis in the elderly. Seek medical advice, don't make assumptions.
The elderly may not display illnesses the way younger people do. Urinary infections can cause what appears to be dementia or even raving psychosis in a senior. Low levels of salt or elevated calcium can cause confusion and memory loss, and can be life-threatening. I said at the memorial service for my parents, "there is nothing to be gained from denial or delay." The principle in all elder care is "sooner rather than later." Don't wait for a crisis to force you into making a decision.